Thus is a topic sequel to the previous topic bothering on self love. It would be discussed in other to lay further emphasis to the success of any relationship especially marriage. Check for the previous topic here; https://mergeplanet.com/what-does-it-mean-to-love/
Many people marry because they believe they love the person they are marrying and the person loves them back, which seems good enough and which should bring happiness but getting into the marriage, they realize sooner than later that things turn sour and then wonder what happened to the love they shared. Many couples fall out of love after a while and then live together in misery because they pinned their love and happiness on their partner and vice versa.
Unfortunately, they failed to realize that no one person can truly give you that love you desire if you haven’t loved yourself enough and no one can make you happy if you aren’t a happy person yourself, except maybe your Mother. Expecting someone else to do this would be too much of burden on that person and it wouldn’t be sustainable in the long run. In the same vein it would be difficult for you to continue to give love when you don’t have a big heart full of love.
As you know human needs and wants are insatiable, there is nothing you can do to make persons happy sustainably if they aren’t happy themselves. Therefore what’s the key to loving someone else? Love yourself first. By loving ourselves we would be able to genuinely and truly love other people in a deep way and once we do that, we won’t have to depend on them to make us feel good about our selves or make us happy. We would be all about giving and giving and giving rather than receiving, receiving or giving and receiving.
Relationships would have more deeper meaning and significance than the empty or toxic relationships/marriages that are rife in our society. It won’t be about mundane things of life such as beauty, wealth, status etc. Its the lack of self love that would allow someone to marry another just because the person is handsome or beautiful. If you love yourself enough, you would appreciate that you are beautiful just the way you are and that looks are ephemeral and does not define someone. That way, you won’t be easily carried away by falling in love with the looks and ending up with a demon.
Lack of self love is what makes one to marry someone that is toxic or isn’t compatible with themselves due to the fact that one hasn’t been able to discover oneself enough to have boundaries or have the ability to say ‘No’ when ones boundaries are being crossed. In short lack of self love is why most people get in relationships or marriages for all the wrong reasons and getting involved with people like themselves would end up in nothing but misery.
Peach & Pear Counsel.